Friday, March 18, 2011


  I just picked up the scholarship applications for the memory of Kayla and our other children, but we base it on Kayla's personality and interest.  We are only able to do this with the help of our many friends and families.  I try to narrow the chooses down to three then the ACCF will pick one. This year we have 15 to choose from.  It is really hard.  They are all so deserving and I am always afraid of hurting someone.  Then I am I choosing the right one to honor Kayla's memory?  Just from a few questions on a piece of paper.  They are very personal questions and seem to help in letting us get to know the kind of things we need to know.  Like... Kayla loved to read, so we ask about a book or author.  They also have to tell us of there family.  We want to know how they view there family.  Kayla loved being around family and held us together.  She always wanted to make sure we ate dinner together and things like that.  We look at the kinds of activities they choose to be en voled in.  Last but least I just try to feel how they come across on who they are, what type of person and that is the hardest.  What also comes into play is that because this is such a small community I have ran into many times where I know they children very well and there parents.  Then what do I do?  How do I choose?  Is this person going to understand why I did not choose them?  Are they going to understand that I have to get ACCF to pick them not just me?  I just can't just choose everyone either. I sure would like to!  There has been many times that is has been so difficult and close in the chose. Maybe you are wandering would a boy even try to apply.  The answer is yes.  Because let me tell you it has come down between the last three and it is most often a boy in there.  Just choosing a young person for this brings up so many fond memories of Kayla.  I need to think of who would Kayla pick?  Who would she be friends with? I think about the things she talked about doing in the future.  She wanted to help kids, be around kids, she enjoyed also being around the elderly going to nursing homes and helping out there,  she was very good with arts and crafts, so I seen her maybe going into some kind of art classes. She played softball,  she was in dance,  she was very much enjoyed Bible School and other church activities.  And talked about someday going to help out over seas in Africa with children as a doctor.  She also wanted to find out the reason for SIDS. So she was very interested in the research field of medicine.  She also had talked about teaching children along with being a doctor.  She very head strong and smart. She most likely could of done both.  And I am sure she would of used her gift of sign landuage  along the way.  God had given Kayla so many talents it is so hard sometimes to wander why He has seemed to let them go to waste.  But I know in my heart that He did not!  I have faith that every heart that she touch and every heart she is still touching is what is important.  Those our her talents.  Her heart and the love that she shared with everyone she was around was the greatest gift.  The out pouring of love that we have felt from family and friends and even people I did not even know, was a testament of Kayla's life.  And I am for ever in awe of the love.